It was the only basis upon which
I felt free to exercise my desire.
It was the only basis upon which
I could claim both candor and discretion.
Certainly, if circumstances had been
different, my horizon not circumscribed
by precedent responsibilities
and other attachments, I do not know
what to suggest might have been the prospect
between us. As matters stood, however,
at that moment, it could only be so.
It was a principle of economy –
a matter of efficiency : true love.

There was no point to our close confidence
without it. We might talk at positions
proximate to one another until
desire were only a vestige, and what
did it matter…

 This is not to say that
a relationship upon this basis
would not be intellectual, sometimes
emotional, and ever at a depth.
But in the end, it has to be finite,
even transient – sought with the conviction
that it would be short-lived, if in fact worth
being sought; and so it would be short-lived.

It could be justified only upon
the basis of giving one another
sharp pleasures – I struggled to recall lines
of Donne and Marvel, and a friend who once tried
explain to me the addition in life
of love and desire to absolute bliss.